Mike McCarthy will be back. Will either of his coordinators? — Kevin Sherrington’s A La Carte

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Kevin Sherrington’s A La Carte

— A report circulated widely before Sunday’s debacle out at JerryWorld that if the season ended badly, Mike McCarthy would pay for it, if for no other reason than to give Jerry Jones a reason to keep Kellen Moore as head coach. Couple things: Jerry’s not canning McCarthy after two seasons. Other than his silly war with Jimmy Johnson, Jerry has conceded that his biggest regret is his dismissal of Chan Gailey after just two years. Besides, after watching that game plan unfold Sunday, from the pitiful start right up to the slapstick ending, what would make anyone want to hire the guy who designed it? For better or worse, McCarthy and Moore will probably be back in their same roles next season. Just the same, Jerry, it wouldn’t hurt if you made them sweat it a little first.

— On the other hand, Dan Quinn, projected to become head coach in Denver, no doubt coached his last game for the Cowboys as defensive coordinator. Quinn is a charismatic coach and leader, and he’ll be missed. Could the Cowboys bring back Mike Zimmer, a favorite of the Joneses? Possible. Probably more likely that McCarthy elevates Joe Whitt Jr.

— Kyle Shanahan clearly out-coached the Cowboys, which, come to think of it, probably didn’t require the second coming of Bill Walsh. From the first drive, when Jimmy Garoppolo, bad thumb and all, came out firing and threw the Cowboys’ defense off balance as a result, it was an enviable performance. Garoppolo passed for most of his 172 yards in the first quarter, giving the 49ers an early lead and Shanahan control of the game plan. Run the ball and play defense. Even without Nick Bosa’s presence in the second half, the 49ers sacked Dak Prescott five times, picked him off once and held the Cowboys to 77 yards rushing. San Francisco played about as well as it could. The rest was on the Cowboys, who were only too willing to cooperate.

— Dak, who got outplayed by Garoppolo, defended the poor planning and execution of the game’s final, futile play by saying they practice it every Saturday. But if that’s so, why did it look like a kindergarten fire drill? Basically, Dak ran too far, taking too much time in the process, then should have handed the ball to the umpire so he could spot it and avoid the confusion. On second thought, never mind. Let’s leave that out of the playbook from here on out.

— Fans booed McCarthy twice for punting on fourth down in the second half, but that was short-sighted and unfair. At that point in the futility, the head coach was probably hoping for another roughing the kicker call.

— Only fitting that the Cowboys couldn’t let the season slip away without at least one more foolish special teams play. No sooner had Bryan Anger, the Cowboys’ excellent punter, thrown to C.J. Goodwin for a first down on a fake punt than the Cowboys decided to double down. “Turbo,” is what McCarthy calls it. In the two-play series, they run the fake punt, then leave the special teams on the field for another play. Why that seemed like a good idea is beyond me. Confuse the 49ers and make them use a timeout, like Arizona did against the Cowboys earlier this month? Maybe, but the only people confused by it Sunday were the Cowboys. One of his players celebrated the fake punt on the field, as McCarthy explained, and in the confusion, the officials reset the clock, defeating the Cowboys’ intent. Right. Whatever it was, let’s rip that out of the playbook, too.

— Micah Parsons was a revelation this season, and he was no less a shining light in the Cowboys’ fog Sunday. The brilliant rookie thanked everyone afterward. Even the media, for gosh sake. You can bet his teammates will help him get over that.

— How many of Parsons’ teammates played their final game as Cowboys on Sunday? Probably Leighton Vander Esch, who shouldn’t take it as a good sign that the Cowboys spelled his last name “Ecsh” on his jersey Sunday. Dalton Schultz? The tight end has been highly productive, but he’ll also command a lot of attention on the free agent market. The Cowboys could save themselves a chunk of money if they cut Amari Cooper before March 22, when his $20 million salary for 2022 will be guaranteed. Considering the development of CeeDee Lamb and Cedrick Wilson, not to mention that Michael Gallup would be a cheaper alternative now that he’s coming off knee surgery, probably a good time to let Cooper take his vax views elsewhere.

— Should the Mavs trade for Myles Turner or John Collins? Is that really a question? If so, the answer is yes. Both ways.

Story time: Another Olympics is about to commandeer your TV screen, and while they aren’t what they used to be, they’re still fun. They were just more fun with Bob Condron around.

Upon his retirement after 28 years as director of the USOC’s media operations in 2011, this is how Condron replied to the contention that he would be pursuing other opportunities: “Exactly. Like fly fishing high in the Rockies, shooting my age in golf, whatever hole that happens to be, and spending more time in a coffee shop on Wednesday morning at 9:30 a.m. eating an apple fritter.”

Before gaining worldwide fame for his USOC work, Condron, a Texas Tech grad, did time as SMU’s sports information director during the NCAA years, and it was in that capacity that your intrepid reporter met him in 1983. We were both in Tokyo for a boondoggle called the Mirage Bowl, a football game between SMU and Houston best remembered for the fact that the yard lines, apparently laid with talcum powder, faded away after the first series.

Anyway, Condron represented SMU while I did my best not to embarrass the old Houston Post.

The night before the game, SMU’s best man took two Houston sportswriters to dinner, where he was astounded to find that one of us was a teetotaler. Condron had never heard of a sportswriter who didn’t drink, and he did his best to remedy the oversight. Pointing out several non-lethal options on the menu, he talked me into a Mai Tai. The concoction arrived just short of a parade float. I seem to recall a hairy, plastic coconut and at least two parasols. Maybe an orchid. Drawing the plastic straw for a sip, I heard what sounded like chanting. Then it became clear that it was Condron, singing the punchline to the joke he set up.

“Macho, macho man, I want to be a macho man…”

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