With the clock ticking on what to deliver to this Outdoors space this week, I sat musing the other day about what I could possibly write about.
Especially in the face of Texas’ most severe summertime season in a decade, a run of ultra-hot weather that is bringing back far too many sweaty memories about the other benchmark summers in the Lone Star State, infamous years that go by the monikers of 1980 and 2011 to name a few.
When it’s pushing 100+ degrees by late morning, and the power people are begging residents to turn the thermostat up and sweat a little bit more indoors, it’s a little difficult to write much useful information about how to get out and enjoy the great outdoors.
I could write about how to catch a striper on Lake Texoma right now, something that is happening with a big of regularity as the early morning — and that means before and just after sunrise — topwater bite continues and the slab bite takes place a little bit later in the morning out in the deeper water. But if you venture out on the big two-state reservoir, be sure you have a cooler filled with water and an electrolyte replacing drink because it’s going to get pretty miserable, pretty quick, say around 8 a.m. every day?
There could also be a discussion about how to catch a largemouth bass in the dead of summer, a task restricted to topwater lures tossed into shallow areas very early, a variety of baits thrown into shady areas very late, or offshore locations in between that are best dredged with a deep-diving crankbait or probed with a flutter spoon or football jig. Even then, the bass are like everything else, riding out these never ending dog days of summer and likely to be sulking in the deep stuff until the water temperature cools down, sometime around Christmas perhaps.
One possibility might be working out the kinks of rusty shotgun shooting skills in preparation for dove season, heading out back with a few clay pigeons in an effort to try and be ready for the Sept. 1st season opener in a few more weeks. But since mourning doves seem scarce in North Texas since the disastrous freeze of Feb. 2021 and shotgun ammunition is even scarcer on local store shelves, maybe that topic can wait for another few weeks too.
There’s the possibility of going out and working on a duck blind, the kind that the Robertson’s Duck Dynasty family is famous for. But in this blistering weather, using a Duck Commander duck call seems light years away and heat stroke remains a very real possibility, so maybe that chore needs to wait too until the first cool winds of autumn are blowing and the thermometer isn’t blowing its top every single day.
Punching foam in the backyard as you sight in your bow and sling some arrows at a 3-D deer target wilting in the evening sunlight is another possibility. But it’s so hot right now that some piece of vital plastic might melt on your compound bow, and given the supply chain issues of recent months, I’m not sure how quickly someone like Sherman bow shop owner Orvie Cantrell, Jr. might be able to order a replacement and get it into his Big O’s Archery Shop.
So, if you don’t mind, we’ll skip that idea too because I’d sure hate it if someone misses the start of early archery season because of a column I’ve written. Unless, of course, we happen to be sharing the same piece of deer hunting ground. And if that’s the case, then of course you should be practicing in the middle of this heat wave, right? After all, who knows how many big bucks there will be to go around this fall and if you’re waiting on a part to come in, well, maybe I’ll finally have a crack at Mr. Big. Just kidding, of course, this heat is making me delirious.
I might suggest my favorite activity in the outdoors, fly fishing, but given the fishing conditions that exist right now — really hot weather, rapidly warming water, and a growing danger to the fish I’d want to catch and release — that would likely mean a coldwater road trip to Arkansas, Colorado, or Montana. And with gas prices high enough that I might need to sell a fly rod or two to pay for the trip, that’s probably not happening anytime soon either.
Working the aging retriever or the bird dog youngster out seems like a good way to pass the time, burning up a few minutes now–sorry, never say burning up when it’s 100+ degrees outside–and offering potential dividends later on in the fall. But when I grab the floating bumpers or the check cord, they both stir briefly from their naps and give me the look of “You’re kidding, right?”
In the good old days, I might pass the time until cooler weather arrives by flipping pages in the collection of outdoor catalogs starting to show up in my mailbox. But for the most part, the age of catalogs — those wonderful wish books from Cabela’s, Bass Pro Shops, and others — are a thing of the past. Instead, I get e-mails into my Inbox every other day. You know, as long as the power holds out that is.
Yet another possibility is to go dig through the freezer and pull out whatever remains of the year’s wild game and fish harvest, cooking up those remaining packages and creating a yawning hole in the freezer that needs to be filled up again next fall, winter, and spring. But in 100-degree heat–plus a few more degrees—I’m not eager at all to go out back and fire up the grill in the great outdoors. Nor am I interested in turning the oven on in the kitchen, because who wants to heat up the house another few degrees, right?
As the relentless summertime heat wave of 2022 rolls on, I suppose the only thing I can do right now is to grab one of the outdoors magazines that have come into the mailbox recently, maybe Wildfowl, Quail Forever, North American Whitetail, or Gun Dog, and dream about the far away days of fall. Or I could pull a treasured outdoors volume off the bookshelf and flip a few pages or even fire the laptop up to read a story on the digital side of things.
All while I’m sitting in front of an air conditioning vent — or a fan — blowing some slightly cooler air as I sip some used-to-be iced tea, flip a few pages, and dream about cooler days ahead.
Yeah, that’s it. That’s what I’ll do. I’ll be an outdoor writer who reads about the outdoors since it’s far too miserable to actually walk out the front door with a fly rod, a shotgun, or a bow in my hand.
What a novel concept. At least until the power gives out, that is.
Hang in there folks. One day, the weather map will be kinder and gentler to us all once again.
Maybe, and I guess we’ll see. In the meantime, try and stay cool in this relentless summer of ‘22.
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