When I was growing up, it used to be fun to try to figure out what certain initials meant. Sometimes, I thought, adults would use initials because they didn’t want the kids to know what they were actually talking about.
It was a long time before I realized that “snafu” was an abbreviation for words you shouldn’t utter in public.
And every time I’d hear the initials “MVP,” I thought it was an actual position on the football field, like a special kind of quarterback.
Having never been an MVP at anything, it took me a long time to understand what those three letters meant.
My dad was a “J.J.” and so was my brother. Which means my brother was actually a “J.J. Jr.” which was extra cool. Poor me, I was just “Bobby.”
I used to think a “VIP” was just a “vip,” mostly because there were never any periods after each letter. Still, I wondered why a vip was treated with disdain as often as he or she was treated with respect.
Which brings me to a very charming email I received, completely unsolicited, some months ago in those happy and carefree pre-COVID days.
“Hi Bob,” it began as if from a familiar friend. “You are a lucky VIP ticket holder and are welcome to join us for a pre-show reception. Please read below for all the information you’ll need to navigate this special event.”
Who? When? Where? What? Why me? Details, please.
Turns out my invitation was from the famous Curran theater on Geary Street in San Francisco. As a VIP ticket holder I was invited to attend as “Ronan Farrow takes the stage for a special Curran About Town.”
Wonderful, I thought, but I wasn’t sure if Ronan Farrow was an author, an actor, an acrobat or an ambassador to Ukraine. Or maybe the third baseman for the San Francisco Giants.
The only way to find out for sure was to go, and who wouldn’t want to attend an exclusive VIP event in San Francisco?
“We can’t wait to see you tomorrow at Calvary Presbyterian for a special Show & Tell, featuring Ronan Farrow in conversation with Mother Jones’ Clara Jeffery.”
Don’t know Clara either, but nothing could spoil my enthusiasm for a trip to the big city and the special privileges that my VIP status might bring.
“Doors open for your VIP pre-show event at 6 p.m. Join us for a reception to mingle with Ronan Farrow and enjoy complimentary wine from our Sonoma friends at Eco Terreno winery.”
Which goes nicely with feta-stuffed mushrooms and those Little Smoky cocktail sausages.
“All VIP guests will receive a signed copy of ‘Catch and Kill.’ ”
Aha, this must be an evening’s discussion of the joys of fly fishing.
Well, no sooner had my sweetheart and I reserved a penthouse suite at the St. Francis, rented a tux and an evening gown, arranged for a wine-and-cheese limousine ride from Davis to San Francisco and shipped the kids off to Vacaville for an overnight stay at Aunt Mary’s, than another email arrived two hours after the first.
“Hi Bob,” it began again. “While you’ll always be a VIP in our eyes, you received an accidental email from us regarding a VIP Ronan Farrow event tomorrow. You know we love to see you at all of our Curran events and we hope to see you soon, but this specific event is for ticket-holders only.”
You’ll see me soon all right.
In court.
— Reach Bob Dunning at bdunning@davisenterprise.net.
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