I have been to two weddings in the past week.
They were radically different.
The first was in Washington, D.C., on Dupont Circle in a Quaker meeting hall that included a Rabbi officiating. The second was in a restaurant that looked like a chapel here in the Cottonwood area and former Salt Lake City mayor, Rocky Anderson, officiated.
Let’s start in D.C. This was a first marriage for both the bride and groom. They both qualify for AARP benefits. He is a federal judge. She has worked all over the globe in foreign service.
The service began with Helen, the bride, singing with her friends, “Can anybody find me … somebody to love?” Somehow the iconic rock song had become a quirky hippie-ish folk song in the most charming way. Long live Queen! All of them. (The bride had worked for Queen Noor in Jordan but she had also somehow been boots on the ground in Tienanmen Square.)
Harry returned with his version of the Elvis Costello song, “She,” a sweet version all his own. And then in the tradition of a meeting/service in the Quaker faith — people spoke as they were moved. Their friends were so happy to tell When Harry Met Helen stories and how folks had thought perhaps each would never marry and yet after being together for a couple of years before COVID that/this intense period of living so intimately together kinda tied the knot for them. They had purchased a property with plenty of room for friends. And in her quirky and sincere pledge to Harry, in that meeting hall, Helen vowed to “let Harry get a dog.”
Those of us in Zoomland had a chance to speak to the couple. Voices and faces showed up on screens from the Middle East and the middle of Manhattan. It was terrific. And then the simple chuppah came as a surprise for Helen into the meeting house. The Rabbi spoke and the glass smashed and “mazel tov” was the rallying cry. The festivities continued in the courtyard with food and drink which looked quite joyful before I closed my screen. I look forward to our own Park City celebration when they return to their part-time home here again for a visit.
On the rainy following Sunday, in the Cottonwood area of Salt Lake City, now Park City residents, sweet Nancy wed her beau, Ken. It took her whole life to find Ken. And he, her. They both have priors. One ended in death and one in divorce but that was a long time ago for both. Finding a real life partner wasn’t anything either expected when they met in May. Rocky had suggested they just met — they are both friends of his from different chapters in his life and they both like fly-fishing. And travel. And the outdoors. And music. And cooking. And her quirky dog, Hector. When they met, she led with her diagnosis — she is living with cancer. Ken understood. There is no time for pity here or sadness so they set about discovering each other’s interests and they were so aligned and fell so in love, they sought the “permission” of his adult son and her adult son and adult daughter. And all have been delighted to see them so clearly happy — together.
There was a string quartet that played beautiful classical music as we entered and took our seats. There were less than 40 guests and we had all been vaxxed and pre-screened and masked. In their vows, Ken acknowledged they both came from modest backgrounds, how they had already compressed years and years together in just four short months and that Nancy “had captured my heart and soul” and then he stopped to compose himself. “While we don’t know what the future will bring — we will have each other.”
Nancy told Ken, “You are observant and attentive. We share books together and cook together and fish and have adventures.” And then she added the refrain of her favorite Micheal Franti song — “Life is better with you.” When Rocky continued with his words of advice and suggestions for their life together he pointed out to Nancy he was not asking her to “honor and obey” — at which point Nancy wiped her brow and we all laughed. He urged them both to show every day that they knew how lucky they were to have found each other at just this moment in time. They enthusiastically said “I do” to all the simple (and yet complex) commitments to be lovers and partners and best friends.
As I look back on this week of weddings, I hear Lin Manuel Miranda saying in his own cadenced way, Love is love is love is love … and I am crying writing. Grateful to be witness to such love. And to think these both happened on Sundays — outside of — but with the strongest of ties to — this Park…
Teri Orr is a former editor of The Park Record. She is the founder of the Park City Institute, which provides programming for the George S. and Dolores Doré Eccles Center for the Performing Arts. She has been a member of the TED community since 2007 and founded TEDxParkCity in 2009.
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