How many fucks does Liam Neeson give? As many fucks as there are steaks in his fridge and cigarettes in his mouth and eggs he hasn’t boiled properly. Which is to say: zero. Zero fucks. If not giving any fucks was a face, Liam Neeson’s face is the face of giving no fucks. Look up “giving fucks” in the dictionary and Liam Neeson is listed under antonyms. If … okay, you get the point.
Neeson appears this month in Marlowe, based on the John Banville novel based on the Raymond Chandler character. The movie is Pure Grade Liam Neeson. It is exactly what you expect.
Men’s Health sat down with the zero-fucks actor to ask him about it. And have him answer some internet questions.
What followed was slightly unhinged, if not totally expected.
We’ll let Neeson speak for himself. Here are the best moments.
Liam Neeson on the UFC (and Conor McGregor)
“UFC I can’t stand. That to me is like a bar fight. I know the practitioners are like, ‘no, you’re wrong—the months of training we do …’ Why don’t you just grab a beer bottle and hit the other guy over the head? That’s the next stage of the UFC. I hate it. … That little leprechaun Conor McGregor, he gives Ireland a bad name. I know he’s fit, and I admire him for that. But I can’t take it.”
Liam Neeson on Star Wars
“The lightsaber fight in The Phantom Menace. Ewan McGregor and myself. I’ll tell you what we did the first day we had to take out lightsabers out. And Ewan and I did this at the exact same time. We pulled out lightsabers out and went ‘dzhhhhhhewww.’ George Lucas said, ‘You don’t have to do the sound effects; we put those in later.’ We felt like twats.”
Liam Neeson on His Diet
“My diet. Well, I eat food. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I miss cigarettes. I loved cigarettes. I’ve been off them for 28 years. If you smoke, stop. Dead serious. … [I eat] fruits and vegetables. I gave up meat a year ago. I don’t really miss it. And I make sure there’s always a potato on my plate. Being Irish. Potatoes get a bad rap. It’s the butter. Potatoes are healthy. They’re good, nutrition. And they keep my people in Ireland alive!”
Liam Neeson on the ‘Skills He Has Acquired’
“I tie very good fly-fishing knots. I can boil an egg. … Boil the water first. Introduce the egg on a spoon into the bottom of the small saucepan. Start the timer. Three minutes. If it’s a duck egg: four minutes. If it’s an ostrich egg: eight to ten minutes.”
Liam Neeson on Appearing in a Star Wars Spinoff
“No.”
Assistant Editor
Joshua St Clair is an Assistant Editor at Men’s Health Magazine.
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