Ethen Samuel Phelps left this world Sept. 19, 2021, in a similar way in which he arrived — quietly, surrounded in love by his family. While his arrival brought smiles and laughter, his passing has brought great sorrow and pain. His presence was so powerfully life giving and his absence is so powerfully heartbreaking.
Ethen was so richly good. He was like a coin, he could be the strong, secure big brother one moment and the compliant, loving son who willingly emptied the dishwasher for his mom the next. He could be intently focused on a game of chess and then move immediately at the request of his father to joyfully feed the dogs. He could sit quietly on the outskirt of a conversation, and then land the most clever comment with perfect timing and delivery. Ethen was comfortable drawing in his room, and confident to lead his younger siblings on an adventure. He wasn’t afraid to admit that he didn’t know how to do something, and courageous enough to step up, learn and try.
Ethen was a peacemaker and catalyst who was able to live with joy in two different homes with two different sets of parents. He never made anyone feel less than, judged or compared. He loved with a profound gentleness and reassuring acceptance. He was the best, and brought out the best in all of us, multiplying goodness and love wherever he went.
Ethen was the son every parent dreams of having. The kind of grandson every grandparent is proud to have, and the brother that everyone needs. Ivee will forever miss her road trips listening to music with him. Mathew will always remember their adventures together on their vacations, especially those on the family ranch in California, and Sage’s trampoline feels empty without her big brother jumping on it with her. Ethan will cherish the friendly skirmishes of chess that the two shared.
Ethen’s goodness was felt by his friends as well as his family. He was not driven to be popular, or focused on image. He looked for those who were in need and found the same kind of goodness in others that he, himself had. Ethen was a tremendous teammate that enjoyed every sport he played, but truly loved basketball. He didn’t need the spotlight, but gave his all to help others succeed.
Ethen was a kind and sensitive boy, who was growing into a strong and competent man. While he was developing skills in such things as carpentry, fly fishing, cooking and golf, he also retained the aware, compassionate, intuitive side of the artist. He not only saw the detailed lines and shading of life, he could capture them with his pencil. Ethen did not miss the amazing wonder and glory of the world we find ourselves in. He saw it and could help us all see it too. Our lives are forever changed!
Ethen spoke best with his smile. Like a sunrise coming out of the darkest part of night, his face would begin to crest with a grin that turned into the brilliance of a smile that lit up a room. His passing has hit us like a hurricane, the darkness is intense, and the storm is furious. Yet, each day since his passing has had rainbows of promise. Rainbows that remind us that the storm is passing; that God is good and restoring, rebuilding, and resurrecting it all in the power of love.
Ethen, your memory will forever be carried in our hearts. We will take your lessons on love, friendship, compassion and peace. The lessons you so willingly shared, and try our best to do the same. May you rest in peace our sweet Ethen, and may you know how much you are loved.
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